11/16/2024 - Babies first joint

Last week was my first time smoking a joint. I’d taken edibles way before this but barely any just small gummies so this was EXTREMELY different. After taking two hits I was coughing and weezing sm I had to drink a whole bottle of water, and my throat burned soooo much

I was so scared of bothering mah friend but she calmed me down.. as soon as she hugged me an said i was safe it stopped hurting so bless her heart…

I started hearing lots of music and sounds. Loops of songs I like, but faster, like a melody from Tempera Sumi Core, random things from Wake Me When Breakcore Ends, or completely new songs and noises that don’t exist at all all of it was speedcore though kinda similar sounding too Psycho Filth Records?

The music was loud tho sm that it would drown out my other thoughts, so trying to have a conversation was really hard cause I kept forgetting what I was even saying or doing at all and I was drooling everywhere all over her shoulder LOL

11/6/2024 - J-fashion & DIY stuff

My friend Syd and I are deciding to DIY clothes together, and also buy cute coordinating outfits. Recently I've been trying to dress more girly and cute for the first time ever. And I especially like J-fashion… We both like J-fashion. SO I’ve been looking more into it and I think what I like the most personally is ryosangata, girly kei, and jirai kei. I am leaning more towards girly kei though, I like whites and pinks a lot. She wants to go with kogal or decora, which I like both of those a lot too. She’s been doodling out ideas for our matching outfits.

Her colors will mainly be red black and white, and mine will be pink white black… I’m trying to collect all the pieces right now and I think I’ll have one of those lolita headbands with the ruffles, with some white and black hair clips, but I’m not sure of the design yet. Maybe DIYing the hair clips could be fun. Like little white cats on them, or something… While talking about hair, she says I should get bangs. Straight bangs with side pieces. I’d love to have bangs but they always look horrible on me, but she says that's just because I didn't take care of them. She draws me in pigtails, but my hair is WAY too short to go in pigtails, I think. I mean I can try … But I don’t think I can LOL.

I wanna learn how to do ryosangata makeup too. Heavy foundation, eye enlarging contacts, defined tear bags, dolly look and stuff like that. I’m not really good with makeup at all, it’s my first time ever trying to wear it so I’m not sure how much I can do but… I’m still going to try. I noticed a trend that a lot of the ryosangata looks i like is with people who shave their eyebrows and then draw them on higher to make the eyes appear bigger but that sounds scary idk how to draw eyebrows… And then I’d have to do it everyday and I can’t keep up with that… I gotta pluck them or something, maybe…
(；￣Д￣)

Now, onto the actual outfit components. It’ll just be the sweater I already have with the kittens… But with a jacket or cardigan too, with maybe some pins or something on it? And a black skirt with a pink tutu or something underneath, with some mismatched socks lel. My ita bag is an all the time thing, but I still want to do more with it in my free time. I want it to have more breakcore & lolicore pins along with my tundere violence CD. Like an ita bag for breakcore.

Nov 1, 2024 - Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween everyone! I hope everyone reading this had a nice time yesterday! Doing whatever you were doing for the holiday. My family went trick or treating, and I’ve been mooching off their candy all day personally. I didn’t have any money for a costume this year… So I didn’t go out or anything like that.

But I did stay home from school and decided to look into virtual machines though. I should’ve done it much sooner. I’m running windows XP because I wanted to play old yuri visual novel games to sorta celebrate. I was browsing the visual novel database when I found this one I really liked. It was just a demo, and after playing it i really wanted to get the full thing but CAN’T. The websites with full versions only accept Japanese paypal. When you put in your phone number it says it invalid, cause it’s not from Japan. It has no videos online for me to watch either cos it’s just this really obscure hentai game (╥_╥) no one invested in the lore like I am. It has no english translation either so I had to manually translate everything LOL. I’ve been trying to dig through the files in order to find the sprites, since of course there are no high quality versions online but I only have the audio files. I’m still devoted despite all this because it’s my first visual novel that I played on xp. Also the protagonist is really cute and I luv her.

Anyways, this is what my VM is looking like right now! I’ve been having a lot of fun just downloading random things and making my desktop look cute after finding out that I couldn’t get the full game. I’ve also been downloading many other demos from that site, since I really love the art style across all the games on this website (^_^♪)

It inspired me so much I decided to try and pick up learning how to draw in that early 2000s moe sorta style again. I should start using Ren’py again too actually. I don’t know why I stopped, because it’s fun. I guess I sorta grew outta writing original stuff, I'm not sure why. But I think making simple visual novels or games would be nice, and give my site more interactivity and stuff to. I mostly just like to write fanfiction and stuff now. But I should get back to making OCs because I remember I really used to like that...

I’m feeling very productive this weekend. And I’m enjoying my stolen Twix bars a lot.